I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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