i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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