after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Dignity is for republicans.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
