Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Randomize
