i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
