My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
