see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
