JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
