6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
