Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
