what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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