ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just found puke in my bra..
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Randomize
