One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
