i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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