I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
