Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
