She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
