he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I cut my penus on the lid.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
