He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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