that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You are the jesus of drinking
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
