He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Just puked most of my soul out..
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
