i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
