You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You don't make any sense
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