Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
