we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
