break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
