since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
