we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize