HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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