I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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