D3 body, D1 cock
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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