Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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