i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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