Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
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