I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
We got so high we made milksteak
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
