is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
