I want to walk on stilts...naked
you traded sex for a burrito?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
