this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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