3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
high people should be assigned attendants
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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