Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
