I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
