what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
