3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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