Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
