I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
