$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
