I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
