Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Randomize
