well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
