Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
