u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
