Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
