So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
