I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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