There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
