I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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