Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
