Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
