i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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