Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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